Curse, Taboo, and LlllI mean Emotions
by Silvernova34
Summary: Amu is cursed. Anyone she gets close to dies. In order to keep those around her safe, she vowed never to be close to anyone again, so she never says those three words...But then she met him. And he changes her life...With chocolate cake. AMUTO!
1. Chapter 1: The Curse

_**Curse, Taboo, and L—I mean Emotions**_

**Amu is a girl who has been cursed since birth. Every person who she has gotten close to has died. To prevent more pain, she has closed off others, and vowed to never be close to anyone again, so she never says those three words... But what happens when a certain new student begins to take an interest in her? Can he save her from her loneliness, without being killed by her curse?**

**Minna! Arigato for reading my story! As with my first story, my first reviewer (emphasis on reviewer, must have a bit of substance—what you like and what you don't, and whether you will continue to read) will receive an exclusive hint about future events. This is my second fic. Enjoy! And sorry if characters are a little OOC, this is my first fic without original characters, and in order to get the story to flow the way I want it to, the characters may be a little OOC.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Shugo Chara!**

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**Chapter **1: The Curse

_You who knows not about strife_

_I shall teach you about pain_

_You will be lonely all your life_

_So it will drive you insane_

_You will have many to love_

_But if you say it by and by_

_Who it is that you speak of_

_They in front of you will die._

This is my curse.

Before I was born, my father befriended a witch without knowing it. She fell in love with him, but he fell in love with my mother. The witch was heartbroken. Eventually, my father married my mother and she had me. The witch was invited to my birthday celebration, but she was filled with such rage that she went for revenge. She cast a curse on the first thing she could get her hands on that would cause him pain. His daughter. Me.

Of course, I had no idea of this at first. Big mistake. Everyone I was close too, my mother, my father, my sister, my aunt, my uncle, cousins, friends,…everyone. They all….died. In front of me. Do you know what that does to a five year old? Eventually my relatives all disowned me, saying I was unlucky. I am unlucky. They put me in an orphanage, and gave me nothing. All I had was my mother's journal.

Her journal. That is where I found my answer. Apparently my mother had written down my curse, and the entire story. That's how I know. I thought back, to all the times the curse had taken affect. That's when I realized it. What the curse really meant. Everyone died when I said those three words. Those three, horrible words. My taboo.

So I closed myself off. If I never got close to anyone, I wouldn't feel any more pain. So I would never accidently let it slip… So no one would suffer because of me. I never spoke. Not even in school, when the teacher called on me. I never read. I wrote only single letters for multiple choice questions, enough to barely pass school. I almost never thought. Only kept to myself, so no one would get hurt. So no one would….die.

But that's when I ran into him.

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**Yeah, It's a little short and my poetry for the curse was a little...well...off. But I really wanted to write this one! It's so dramatic! As soon as I had the idea I instantly loved it. But the question is, do you, the reader, love it? Tell me! Onegai! Review Plz! Arigato!**


	2. Chapter 2: The Encounter

**Minna! Arigato! I only uploaded chapter one yesterday, and I've already got such a great response! Thank you so much! Maybe because SC is a more popular anime?**

**Special thanks to 1 Lil' Phoenix 1 who reviewed first! Thanks so much! You made my day. :) And I know I promised longer chapters, but I had already written this! Gomen! I will make future chapters longer! And there were others who favorited. Minna arigatou!~ **

**Now let me just say, writing from Ikuto's perspective and keeping him in character is HARD. But parts of the story flow better from his POV, so if he seems a little more kind and caring then Peach Pit's Ikuto, I'm really sorry! Peach Pit-sensei made him such an awesome and deep character that he is near impossible to duplicate. Kukai seems different as well. *Sigh. This is why most of my stories are OC. But I really wanted to write this one, so oh well. **

**Thanks for putting up with my ranting. Now with out further ado...**

**I do not own Shugo Chara!**

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**Chapter 2: The Encounter**

Usually when a person bumps into someone, they apologize. Especially at my old school, when I had unwanted fangirls fawning all over me. There would be some squeals and giggling involved. But not this girl. She didn't say a word. She didn't giggle, flirt, or even smile. Instead she gave me a glare. An "if looks could kill" glare. It was the most hostile look I've ever seen, as if I killed her family by bumping into her. No one's ever looked at me like that. Because of my family, no one's ever said anything negative to me. But this girl's eyes… they were shooting daggers. And for once, no smirk emerged from my face, I said no smart remark to make her fall for me. I was, for the first time in my life, speechless.

Her stare lasted only for a moment, but it felt like a century. She got up and walked away, and I was left there on the sidewalk. A boy came over to me as I finally had the strength to stand up.

"You must be new around here. Souma Kukai. You can call me Kukai. You?"

"Tsukiyomi Ikuto."

"I'd stay away from that girl if I were you. She doesn't talk to anyone. Not even when the teacher calls on her in class."

"Really?"

"No one even knows her name. Some people just call her Koori-hime. Ice princess. No one knows anything about her."

"How strange."

"Yeah. I guess I never really gave much thought to her."

"Never?"

"You leave her alone she'll leave you alone."

"And no one's ever tried to, you know, figure out why?"

"Do you want to mess with those daggers?" There was a silence. "Neither does anyone else."

"That makes sense, I guess. But still..."

"Hey, are you Tsukiyomi, as in Tsukiyomi of Easter?"

"Yeah. Step-father. Hate him though." Yeah. My mother married a famous businessman after my father died. Then, of course, she died too. My step-father isn't very fond of me and my sister, but we still get treated special. Sometimes I wished I was normal.

"Yeah." There was a silence. "Hey, what school you go to?"

"Seiyo High. Down the street."

"I go to the Jr. High across the street. We'd better hurry or we'll be late." He grinned from ear to ear.

"You don't have to treat me special because of my step-father."

"I know. It doesn't matter who you are. But someone's got to keep up from being late." He showed me his watch. "School starts in 5 minutes."

We began to bolt down the street, and I made it to class with a minute to spare. As I sat in class, bored, my mind began to wander to the events of this morning. I thought about how I actually made a friend who doesn't care who I am. I groaned at the number of fangirls at this school, and how it was already my first day and I already had a fanclub. But mostly, I wondered about the girl. The girl with the eyes like daggers. I realized that I didn't remember anything about her except her eyes. They were a gorgeous shade of gold, but were as cold as ice. But there was something else…..Something I couldn't quite put my finger on. Something behind the hostility. Something that felt familiar.

That's when I realized it. Loneliness. That girl was the most lonely person on the planet. She hid it behind her ice, but it was there, and it was potent. More potent than I've ever experienced, but still, I knew how she felt. With both of my parents dead, I know the taste of loneliness. But this girl she knew pain, more than a squirrel knew nuts. She knew its sting more than any other person on the planet. But why, why did she hide the loneliness? Koori-hime, Ice princess, what are you hiding?

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**So...what do you think? Even I'm on the edge of my seat, and I'm the author! I know what happens! But I can't wait to write more! And poor Amu, all sad and lonely. Can Ikuto save you with chocolate cake? Stay tuned! Plz Review!**


	3. Chapter 3: The Lonely Princess

**Here it is! Chapter 3! Sorry this wasn't published right away, but I've been having some stress lately with school. Plus with Christmas coming up...I've just been so busy! And guess what minna! Last night I got my very own laptop! YES! So this will be my last chapter on my mom's. And I got Adobe Premeire!(Ahhh! Spelling fail) NO MORE WINDOWS MOVIE MAKER! Finally, I can put the words where I want them to go, not where windows thinks they should go! So I'm really excited! So, anyway...Ch. 3!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Shugo Chara! **

Chapter 3: The Lonely Princess

After school let out, I slowly wandered home, not excited to have to deal with my step-father again. Through the corner of my eye, I saw a rush of pink hair, and my eyes again met with the icy golden orbs. They were as hostile, and as lonely, as ever. Why did I have such an interest in this girl? She was just some shy girl. I've dealt with hundreds of girls before. What was so different about this ice princess? Even so, I wanted to help her. I didn't know why, and it was sort of involuntary. But I did. So I followed her.

Kukai told me that no one knew anything about Koori-hime. It was no use asking around. So I followed her. Maybe she would lead me to answers. If she caught me, I would ask her straight out. But I wanted to know. I wanted to know what caused her pain. It probably had to do with the fact that I too felt similar loneliness. Or maybe it was because she was the first person not to take pity on me or treat me special because of who my mother married.

She stopped. I hid behind a tree. She was standing in front of an orphanage. She stood there for a moment. Her face was hidden from me, and I could not tell what she was thinking. Then, she opened the door and walked in.

_She lives in an orphanage?_

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_He's following me._ I sighed. That boy this morning. He thought I was oblivious, but I knew. I ignored him. Usually if I ignored people long enough, they go away. I took the long way home, hoping he would eventually give up or I would lose him. But I didn't. It was getting late, and I knew I would eventually be locked out. The sensei at my orphanage barely notices me, which is all the best for me. She leaves me alone and I leave her alone. But she locks the door everyday at a certain time, and even though I don't mind sleeping in the cold, every time I fall asleep on a park bench some little old lady has to be nice and wake me up, ask if I'm ok, invite me to sleep at their house, etc. And I don't want that. The less human contact, the better. School is just as much of a torture, and now I have some wack high-schooler following me. What next, someone invites me to a party with the president? Don't you people understand? Leave me alone, and you won't get hurt. It's a matter of life and death. And I chose life for you all, ok? So LEAVE ME ALONE!

But no such luck. My "stalker" followed me all the way to the orphanage. Great. Now I'm going to have people pitying me because I have no parents. But do you know why I have no parents? The same reason you all should stay away from me.

The next day after school, I again decided to take the long way home, just because I wanted to. Somehow, I wondered to the park, and I sat down on one of the swings as it was getting dark.

As I was out, trying to stall going home, I saw her on the swing at the park. I walked up to her, but she gave no response. A quiet snore revealed that she was asleep. She fell asleep on the swing. I smirked. It was cute. I bent down to see her face, which was covered by her pink hair. It was sad. Incredibly sad. When she let her guard down, when she was asleep, she showed how lonely she really was. How absolutely miserable she was. I don't think I've ever seen a human that sad. I didn't know it was even possible to have that much loneliness on a face. But just then, she woke up. And my cheek burned.

She slapped me. She SLAPPED me. No one other than my step-father has even had the courage to slap me. This girl…

"What was that for?" No response. Only a death glare. "What did I do to you?" Still nothing. I put my hands on my hips. "The least you could do is tell me why I was just slapped." She gave me a fiercer glare, and turned to leave. "Where are you going! I'm talking to you!" I grabbed her elbow. She shrugged me off, but stayed where she was.

"Look. You're an orphan. I'm an orphan too. All I have is my lousy step-father. So I know what its like. I know what you're going through."

"YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I'M GOING THROUGH!"

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I spoke. For the first time in months, I spoke. And I let it out. Who does this freak think he is? He doesn't have a clue what it's like. To see your family and friends die in front of you, because of you. To have no choice to close yourself off from the world, too afraid to speak, to think, in case you might, slip. In case that person….

He looked taken aback. Well, he should. I took this opportunity to escape.

"Koori-hime!" I stopped. So he's heard the rumors. Then why is this guy talking to me! Go away!

"You're right. No one understands. Because you've never told anyone. Bottling it up inside is not going to change anything."

"You don't get it! I have no choice!" I screamed.

"What are you talking about?"

"I'd stay away from me if I were you." He again looked taken aback. "Go. Away."

There was a silence for a while. He didn't move. He eventually regained his composure. "Why should I?" He stepped closer. "You're obviously lonely. So why do you shut everyone out? Won't having a friend help share the load?" He knew. He could tell I was lonely. I didn't hide it as well as I thought I did. I was weaker than I thought. And what he said made sense. But knew I couldn't let him in. He'll get hurt. I have to slam the door in his face. I have to…..

*Grumble*

My stomach picked the prime moment to remind my how hungry I was. And now that I thought about it. I was starving! And he, laughed.

"What?"

"I'm sorry. It was funny! You must be hungry though." He looked around. "I'll be right back. Stay here." He headed across the street and walked into a store.

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Yes, I considered leaving. It would the perfect time to ditch the boy. But for some reason, I stayed. He knew I was lonely. He actually talked to me. What was so different about him from everyone else? So I just sat back down on the swing.

Five minutes later, he came back out of the store. He looked relieved that I was still there. He came over and handed me some brown food, and sat on the swing next to me.

"Uhhh….Ewww…..What is this, poop? Are you trying to poison me?" He again laughed. I can't remember the last time someone laughed around me. Then again, I can't remember the last conversation I had either. He laughed for a good 5 minutes.

"Just try it." He said, trying to catch his breath. Was it really that funny?

I really was hungry, so I took his word for it and tried a bite. It was sweet, yet bitter. It was rough, yet moist. It was….It was….

The most delicious thing I'd ever tasted.

My face must have shown it, because he smiled and said, "Told ya. Goodness, you act like you've never eaten chocolate cake before."

"Chocolate cake?"

He looked a little shocked. "Never?" I shook my head. "What do you live under a rock? Tell you what, if you tell me your name, I'll get you some more tomorrow." He smirked, as if he had just bribed me.

My name? I barely remember it. "A-A-Amu. My name is Amu." I said as I licked the plate clean.

"Ikuto."

There was a silence. "Nee…..Ikuto-san?"

"Yeah." His smile disappeared, like I was about to tell him all my dark secrets.

"Can I have some more?"

**Kawaii! I can just see Amu with the big puppy-dog eyes. He got to her through her stomach. I'm so unoriginal! Bah! Oh well. But at least this chapter was longer! Anyway, thanks for reading! Now I've got to go read Shakespeare for school. King Lear. Woohoo. **

**Merry Christmas! Plz Review!**


	4. Chapter 4: The Contemplation

**Here it is…..Ch.4! There isn't much to say…so…Enjoy!**

**I don't own Shugo Chara!**

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Chapter 4: The Contemplation

"I have to say, Ikuto. You're a total chick magnet." I slapped Kukai upside the head. "Ow. What was that for?"

"Stop it."

"Stop what?" He said, looking innocent. But what he said was true. I don't think that there is one girl in all of Seiyo High that is not head over heels for me, not that I want that. Probably in the Jr. High too. Well. There was one.

A flash of pink reminded me that my wallet was again going to be emptied. Not that I mind. My family is rich. But still. That girl can eat.

"Hey look. Its Koori-hime," said Kukai, giving her a judgmental look.

"Amu. Her name is Amu."

Kukai stopped and gave me a shocked expression as I broke into a run to catch up with the girl who could eat a store out of chocolate cake.

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_Mmmmmmmmm….._

I lauged.

"WHAT?"

"You really should slow down before you get fat."

"IKUTO!"

"What! You're going to make yourself sick! And money doesn't grow on trees you know."

She crossed her arms, stood up, and walked out of the store with a half-hearted "humph!" leaving her tenth piece of cake half eaten. I rolled my eyes and payed. It had been a week since Amu had first talked to me, and by now the pastry shop had become accustomed to Amu's enormous appetite. As he was handing me the receipt, the cashier said, "You and that girl make a good couple."

"W-What? I mean, we're not…"

He raised an eyebrow at me. I sighed and walked out the door.

_Me and Amu?_

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It took Ikuto five minutes to follow me out of the shop. I sat on the swings and waited.

_He's so confusing! He laughs at everything I do and makes fun of me!Why do I hang around with him anyway?_

_Because he's the first friend I've had in years. Because I can smile with him. Because he knew I was lonely. _

_It's probably just the free cake._

_No. It's something more. But what? _

"You've so spacey."

"Ehhhhh! Ikuto! Don't sneak up on me like that!"

"I've been here for 2 minutes."

"R-really. Gomen…"

"You better be careful, you may get lost in this big head of yours. If there is anything in there, that is." He gave me the "coulda hada V8" bonk on the forehead, then knocked on it.

"Ow! Yes. The world inside my head is very dark and scary."

"I'm sure it is."

He sat on the swing next to me, and we sat there for a while in silence. Might Ikuto be more then a random guy I bumped into who pays for my indulgences on chocolate?

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_What exactally do I feel for her?_

_What exactally do I feel for him?_

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**Minna! Arigato for reading.**

**Ok. This chapter is very light and happy compared to the first two chapters. I promise drama at the end of the next chapter! It was very short, also. I find it hard to write when there is really nothing going on in the story. Really, this was just a filler chapter, to show the blooming relationship. Nothing big is happening. That happens soon. Then it will be easier to make longer, action filled chapters . So stay tuned! Oh! And I'm writing this on my new laptop. It's awesome . Can anyone guess which Pretty Cure is my background? Tehee. Which is my fav anime….SC or Precure…Precure or SC…I have no idea! I love them both ;) Feel free to check out my other fanfiction-Pretty Cure Stellar Legend….sorry I'm ranting and advertising…..anyway….Thank you all so much for reading! Arigato! Plz Review!**


	5. Chapter 5: The Bomb

**Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year Minna! I started this chapter on Christmas Eve (who knows when I'll be done with it) so I decided to do a Christmas setting. It fit the storyline I wanted….so yeah. As promised, some drama at the end of this one. Enjoy! And I still don't own Shugo Chara...**

**Chapter 5: The Bomb**

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A lot has happened since the start of the school year. It's now winter. December actually. Christmas is in a couple days. The entire town is draped in red and green. But it's so cold. You can see your breath. But there I was, standing there, freezing, at the gates of Seiyo Jr. High School. I had to walk here, all the way from the High School (**A/N** its only across the street…) and she makes me wait. I should just leave before I get frostbite. But then she'd be mad…..But it must be below zero out here! (Fahrenheit. For those of you used to Celsius, that's COLD! If freezing is 32...you get the picture.) Why am I waiting for her anyway?

I rubbed my hands together to keep warm. All the other students began to trickle away. Still no Amu. _Where is that girl? Did she get detention or something?_ I tapped my foot impatiently and counted the minutes that she was late so I could bug her about it later.

5….

10…

15…

30…..

Ok now I was starting to get worried. Did she not see me standing here freezing my face off? Everyone else had pretty much disappeared already.

40…

50…

60….

I walked over to the school door to look if she was still in the building. They were locked. Like, all the teachers already went home locked. Multiple emotions went through my head. Did I just miss her? Was she avoiding me? Did she get someone else to buy her cake? This thought should have relieved me, but to my surprise it hurt.

Then I started to panic. What if something happened to her? What if she got kidnapped? Run over by a car? What if she just hates me?

The third scared me the most.

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*cough* + *blow nose* + *cough again* + *sneeze* + *blow nose again* = my entire day.

That's it. Cough, sneeze, blow my nose. I may have gotten up to go to the bathroom, and I think sensei (what orphan's call the person who runs the orphanage) brought me some soup, but that's it. I didn't budge. Stupid cold.

I sighed. I guess I wouldn't be getting any cake today. Ikuto's probably all happy right now. He doesn't have to pay for my cake. But my stomach growled, so I sat up in my bed and ate some of the soup sitting next to me. Just my luck it was cold. But who knows how long it was sitting there. Chocolate cake is way better.

Ugh. I really hate being sick.

I was in a room all by myself for treating kids when they get sick. Getting a room to myself was a plus, but the stuffy nose and coughing were really getting on my nerves.

I laid back down. I heard a loud knock at the door. Probably someone coming to pick up a kid they adopted. I think that really annoying boy is leaving. Good riddance. I don't know why they chose him. But they never pick me. I'm always passed by. Probably because I'm so quiet. But that's probably best for the family anyway.

Sensei answered the door, but I just rolled over and covered my head to try to go to sleep. I couldn't see who it was anyway. My door was shut. Not that I would want to anyway.

Just then my door opened.

"Amu-chan? Someone's here to see you."

And there was Ikuto. Panting like a dog. Which is odd, because he always seemed more cat-like.

"What do you want?" I asked, trying to sound as less sick as possible, so not to make him worry. Which didn't work. "Achooooooo!"

He was still catching his breath. _What, did he run laps around the city? _

That's when it hit me. He had been looking for me.

He handed me a box. I opened it, and inside it was…you should be able to guess. And not just a slice. A whole cake.

That's when I sneezed. Again. All over the cake. And Ikuto.

But he didn't freak. He didn't scream Ewwww! (which is what I would have done.) He just gave me that smile of his, and said, "Nice aim."

"GOMENNASAI!" My sensei looked taken aback. This was probably the first time she ever heard me speak. And I yelled.

"Now you owe me a cake."

"IKUTO!"

He bopped me on the head. "Who do you think you are to skip and not warn me? If I had gotten frostbite it would have been your fault."

"Gomen."

"Don't you 'gomen' me. Do you know how much I worried about you?"

"You worried about…"

He cut me off. "Next time you decide to get sick, give me a heads up ok?

"Ok."

"Anyway. Christmas eve. Meet me at the swings."

"Why."

"So I can give you your Christmas present."

"Ikuto you don't have to…."

"Don't make me change my mind."

And he was gone.

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A few days later, I waited for her at the swings. I held in my hand a coupon for _Le Reve Coulour_, the best pastry shop in probably the entire country. Free chocolate cake with purchase.

_Will she actually show? Will she skip? Is she still sick? _

I gave a sigh of relief when the familiar pink hair came bobbing down the street.

"You're late."

"Am not!"

She sat down on the swing next to me. I handed her the coupon and her face lit up. Like a Christmas tree.

It was delicious. I had some ice cream donut combination thing. It was really unique. Amu must have eaten 3 entire cakes. And they weren't small things either. They were big. How is that girl so thin?

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We walked back to the park and sat on the swings.

I stared up at the sky as it started to snow. _A White Christmas!_ This was turning out to be a day I remember for a long time. But for different reasons then I thought at the time.

"Amu. I've been thinking." He suddenly got all serious.

"Yeah?"

"Don't worry. It's nothing bad!" He said half laughing.

I let out a sigh of relief.

"Amu, I…."

I waited for him to finish his sentence. He said it was nothing bad, so I was excited to find out what it was. More cake? What was it about Ikuto that made me so excited? The world felt so warm when I was with him. When I'm with him, I can smile. I can forget my troubles. With him, I can forget….

I can forget that which must never be forgotten.

At that moment, I was snapped back to reality. I remembered why I had shut everyone out before. That which this boy pushed to the back of my mind. I remembered why I was so miserable. Why I was so lonely. Why I never got close to anyone. And I realized I felt emotions for Ikuto I must never feel.

But why, you ask, did I realize all of this now?

Because Ikuto dropped the bomb.

"Amu..I…I love you!"

_No. No. NOOOOOO! _

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**Tehehe. Catch the Yumeiro Patissiere Professional reference? Had to do that. That anime makes me hungry….I can't believe its over :'(! At least Kashino and Ichigo finally are together…Anyway, back to this story (I do not own Yumeiro Patissiere Professional…..just had to add that to be safe ) Finally, some drama! As promised Thanks for reading! Oh, and Merry Christmas, and a Happy New Year!**

**And now my Blog! My random rants about what I'm doing right now! Cause I'm bored and I feel like it! **

**1. My bro got Epic Mickey for Christmas. Its so much fun! **

**2. Listening right now to...Otona ni Narutte Muzukashi! by S/Milage- Lilpri! Love it:)**

**3. I CAN'T WAIT FOR SUITE PRECURE! Anyone agree? Kanade looks so Kawaii! **

**4. Eaten Peanut Butter M and M's. Yum.**

**5. My favorite food is Parmisian Pierogies. (Noodles stuffed with cheese and potato, and topped with sauce and cheese)Now I'm hungry for them...**

**6. People are taking to long to sub the Heartcatch Precure episodes recently. **

**7. Know what annoys me? People calling poor Tadase Tadagay. I mean, seriously. Obviously Amu belongs with Ikuto. And Tadase has no backbone. But that's why Kiseki was born! And just because he falls for a girl whos not right for him doesn't mean we should call him names! I happen to like Tadase. Just not with Amu. And if he likes Amu, he's obviously not gay, get it! **

**8. Now I'm listening to Idolulu. Yay for Lilpri! Fav lilpri- Leila. *dances* Ai Ai, Ai Ai! Lu Lu Lu Lu LU! If anyone out there knows where to find an English Translation for this song, I want to know! I really appreciate it! **

**9. And now for something that will blow your mind-I like chocolate cake. **

**Am I random or what? Ok, I think I'm done ranting now! Contest! special mention for the person that can tell me the most random thing about themselves. (Funny will give extra points!) Good Luck! **


	6. Chapter 6: The Explosion

**Minna! Ohayo! I got a lot of responses to last chapter. Apparently we have a lot of ticking time bombs in our midst! Trust me, I know what suspense feels like! I don't have patience either… But I appreciate knowing that my story isn't boring you! Soo….I couldn't wait to bring you the next chapter….so we don't have any people going insane! Gomen…it's a bit late. Thanks to all of you who are reviewing and alerting! Arigato!**

**I do not own Shugo Chara!**

_I finally said it. This _is the first time I've felt this way about anyone. I've had plenty of girls in love with me….but this is the first time I've had to say these words. This was probably the first time I'd ever be nervous about love. I looked down to see her response. Her hair was covering her face.

"Amu?"

She began to shake her head. So slow at first, I wondered if I imagined it. Then it shook stronger, as if she couldn't believe what was happening.

"Amu?"

It began as a faint whisper. Then louder. Until it was a piercing screech.

"No. No. NOOOOOOOO!"

And she took off running.

* * *

_No. No. No._

I let myself slip. I let myself forget. I let myself get close to him. I let myself put him in danger.

I allowed myself to feel….that which I must never feel.

I ran. As far and as fast as I could possibly run. The only way to save him was to get as far away from him as possible. So I never speak to him again. So I never say what I want so much to say. So he doesn't… No. That can't happen. That would hurt worse than this.

I tripped on a root, and I just lay there. I had wondered deep into the forest. The snow slowly covered me.

I'll just lay here. The world will be free of me. Ikuto will be safe, and no one else will be in danger because of me. Who will miss me? It's all for the best…

I embraced the cold of the snow. I deserved the cold. I was the cause of so much misfortune…

Goodbye Ikuto…

* * *

"Amu!"

_Go away…._

"Amu! What are you doing here! You're going to get sick again! And we both know how that will turn out." He had on that smug smile of his.

_Stop it. Please. Go away._

"Amu, is something wrong?

_Please. Leave me alone…_

"Amu?"

"Gomenasai."

"Amu?"

_Is that all you can say? Amu…Amu…Amu…BAKA! You'd better be careful…before I explode and say what I so much want to say right now. _

_No that can't happen. I have to get away. I have to leave. Before I hurt him like I hurt everyone else. _

_I'm sorry….Ikuto…_

I took off running. Or at least, I wanted to, but his hand grabbed mine. I blushed. _No. No! Stop! Please!_

"Amu what's going on?"

"I told you to stay away from me."

"What?"

I shook free.

"Please," I said so quietly, I could barely hear myself. "Just leave me alone."

"I can't do that."

"Just go away!"

"No."

"Please!" By now I was practically screaming.

"Amu! Listen!" He drew me into a hug. _No! Stop….._ "I love you more than I love myself. I won't leave you here alone!"

_No. Stop. Don't say that. There's no way I can return those feelings. You'll die. Stop. Stop. _

_Wait. That's it!_

I backed away from his embrace.

"Gomenasai."

"Amu?"

"I can't….I can't let you get hurt."

"Wait..What?"

_Goodbye, Ikuto._

I stared him in the eye.

"I love myself."

And the world went black.

* * *

**Dun. Dun. Dun. Duuuunnn….**

**Finally, its done! This took way longer than expected. And Ikuto is WAY OOC. Somehow, I can't see Peach Pit-sensei's Ikuto confessing like that. Oh well. (Gomen Peach Pit-sensei!) Anyway….NO. AMU IS NOT A NARCISSIST! Just thought I'd clear that up. Anyway….it should be obvious by now Amu's three taboo words. If not….I should have made it more obvious. We're nearing the climax of Arc 1! Man! I thought this chapter was longer...turned out to be shorter then originally planned. Bah! Maybe it was its absolute drama-filledness that made it seem longer...Actually...I didn't do as well as I had hoped on this chap...ah well. **

**Ok..now to annouce the winner of the randomly random contest. The winner is... **

"The shell of an M'n'M is made out of crushed beetle shells."

**Ok. If that's not gross then I don't know what is. Probably just ruined m n ms for people...Not for me tho...They're too good to pass up because of beetles. I know what's in hot dogs and eat them anyway..soo...Anyway...Thanks for entering DarkNekoJoker-san! Your prize is...virtual M n' Ms! *Hands DarkNekoJoker a plate of M n' Ms***

**Anyway...Just thought I'd share this. I randomly got inspiration for this story from Alice 19th. That anime is WAY dark for my taste...but it was good. Poor Alice couldn't tell Kyo her feelings. (Sound familiar. If not, look up ^) But for different reasons. He had the curse instead of her. And there were other things involved...the story line is totally different! It was only inspiration! I did not steal! (I don't own Alice 19th!) Anyway...the anime is not for the faint of heart. It was dark and a bit mature for me. I almost didn't finish it. But the story was beautiful. **

**Thanks for reading my story and random babbles...Arigato! Review plz!**


	7. Chapter 7: The Happy Ending?

**WOAH, YOU MEAN, SHE'S ALIVE?**

**Konnichiwa minna, its me, Silver-chan, and yes, I am alive. And I am recovering from the worst case of writer's block EVER. I know, very terrible. And I'm really sorry to leave you all stranded at the climax. Plus, my Youtube suddenly got a whole lot busier. I am now in 4 MEP (multi editor project) studios, and have been focusing on those. Plus, I keep changing my mind on how I want to end CTaLimE. And I've decided to end it here. No Arc 2. Due to the immense amount of stories I have jiggling around in my brain, my now busy Youtube life, and my case of writers block after a few chapters, I'm not going to drag the story out longer then it needs to be. My idea for Arc 2 seemed random and forced, so I'm going to cancel it. Doing so will take nothing out of the story, and this ending seems just as good. Anyway, so here it is! The last chapter of Curse, Taboo, and L-I mean Emotions. **

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**Chapter 7: The Happy Ending?**

"I love myself."

She fainted.

"Amu. Amu, AMU!"

_What's going on? Is she okay? She loves herself? Is she a narcissist? Does that mean she doesn't love me? What's going on? Amu!_

My mind was flashing a mile a minute. I shook my head, no time to think now. I bend down to her, and bent my head to hear her heartbeat. There was none. No breathing either.

No...

No...

This can't happen.

I picked her up bridal style and ran. As hard and fast as I could. It was still snowing, but I didn't care. The world would be way colder without her.

The hospital waiting room was busy, but I felt completely alone.

_Please be okay. Please._

A doctor walked in, and called my name. I rushed over.

"Is she okay?"

"We've got her heart started again, but she's still unconscious. No hypothermia, and she didn't go into cardiac arrest. We have absolutely no idea what happened. Its almost like she willed herself into death. All we can do now is hope she wakes up."

"Oh."

"You can go in and see her if you want."

"O-Okay."

**

* * *

****I wandered in the darkness.**

There was nothing, no one. All the better.

Am I dead? Did I succeed? Is this what death is like?

If this was death, I will be satisfied. There is no one here for me to hurt. No one to get hurt because of me.

Even if I must be here forever, that is fine. I am destined to be alone. Alone forever. I have no choice.

My existence causes only death. It is best that that death is mine, and not another's.

Mom? Dad? Will I see you soon? Will I finally be happy? Or will you reject me? Do you hate me, because I was the cause of your demise?

Death take me quickly. I have no regrets.

A dreamy smell drifted over me. Sweet, but bitter. It smelled like...

_Amu!_

That voice!

No! Leave me here! I don't want to hurt you!

_Amu! Please! Wake up! Amu! Don't leave me!_

I felt something wet and hot on my cheek. It burned, and I started to feel a tug.

No! Let me-

My eyes shot open.

"NOOOOO!"

I stared into his blue eyes, filled with rage.

"Why! I l-"

"Stop. You know you don't believe that."

"What."

He held up a purple book. My mom's journal.

"Gomen, I peeped."

"Give that back!"

"Okay! Okay."

"H-How much did you see?"

"Pretty much everything."

"I..."

"Shh..." He put his finger on my mouth. "You don't need to say anything. I know."

"But I...What if I slip?"

"Then I'll just have to do this." And a large spoonful of chocolate cake was forced into my mouth.

"IKUTO!" I said though the chocolaty goodness.

"It's good to have you back."

"But I..." I said, swallowing. "I'm cursed. I cause nothing but dea...misfortune."

"What are you talking about? Bumping into you is the best thing that's happened to me. Although it has left a bit of a dent in my wallet."

"Ikuto!"

He lent in towards me.

"I'll say it enough times for the both of us. I love you Hinamori Amu!"

I blushed, but I turned as red as a tomato-no a firetruck- 5 seconds later, when he leaned in any further, and...well...you take a guess.

As we separated, he whispered, "Ne, Koori-hime, ever had chocolate ice cream?"

**The End**

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**Bet you weren't expecting that! No curse breaking! I was planning on breaking it, but then I decided that the whole, "True loves kiss breaks the curse" thing was overused, and I couldn't think of any other way. So I decided to leave the curse unbroken, but they get together anyway :) Anyway, I hope your not all mad at me for not writing Arc 2, or this chapter being 2 months late. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed _Curse, Taboo, and L—I mean Emotions_. Sayonara!**


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